A year ago someone wanted me to join them in going to London (Europe). It didn’t take me long to realize that I was merely the butter to the other side of the bread. However, in my quest for answers in order to make this huge decision I discovered a few things about myself, as usual. Never empty handed, right?
One of the fears in my heart was that I would die if I didn’t have a job. If I didn’t have the mundane nine-to-fiver, fulfilling the pedantic requirements of a slave-driving boss, then I was a little nobody; or so I thought or feared. A year later God is teaching me that my job does not define me.
Ten years ago God taught me that money does not define me either (even though it is good –and VERY nice to have it).
During the past few months God has been teaching me what should define me. He has been moving me to let go of many things that I thought to be my identity. I’m happy to report that I’m loving what I’m discovering, but I’m challenged for how others still define me.
I used to be married to a wealthy man and we were in the financial position to do a lot of things, have many adventures and it was truly living the good life for me; a lady of leisure. Then things changed and I was no longer able to afford those luxuaries that some call “living life”. I had to redefine myself. Does that mean that I no longer enjoy those things? By all means: NO! I just haven’t been able to afford them for quite some time.
Do people actually evaluate who you are by the life you’re financially able to live; that if you don’t have my kind of money then you’re not worthy, but rather a gold digger? My heart is sad because I know the character that God has built in me w.r.t. money. How can someone draw such conclusions?
But then again, I shouldn’t be defined by people either, should I?
I heard a song today of which the lyrics touched me: if we are the Body then why are the hands not reaching out, the arms not holding, the feet not going...? I think that love is what should define us: in the way we care about people, share of ourselves, manage our money (of which we're merely stuarts for God anyway) - in every way that we conduct our lives... Everything else is merely the instruments with which the orchestra of love is conducted.
My heart is to make beautiful music; sing a beautiful song!
What defines you?